"Why Lesbians Marry" (Jet Magazine, January 1, 1953)

The following article appeared in JET Magazine on January 1, 1953

WHY LESBIANS MARRY

While lecturing in New York City on the causes of sex perversion, a Negro psychiatrist touched very perfunctorily on the advantages which homosexuals can find in marriage. A few days later, he received 11 letters, four of them from admittedly lesbian Negro women, asking for the names of men who would be willing to marry them. The letters were remarkably frank. The writers spoke freely of their sex tendencies, interests, ages, educations, occupations, ambitions. While they differed from each other on many points, the lesbians shared a common desire to find husbands - oddly enough, the more masculine, the better.

Their letters did not come as a shock to the psychiatrist, who had counseled many sex deviates during his career. Nor were their reasons for wishing to marry unfamiliar. Psychiatrists who have dealt with the problems of homosexuals find that while each must be handled as an individual, distinct case, broad conclusions can be reached about eh ability of some to adjust to marriage.

Obviously feminine men who flaunt their lack of masculinity by dressing and conducting themselves like women usually hold such an aversion for real women that marriage would appear to be a farce to them.  The same holds true for masculine women, to whom the idea of living with a man is revolting. But these "obvious' types only make up a small part of the homosexual population, counselors say.  They have found a large number of women and men who are homosexual, yet able to tolerate the opposite sex.  These people are really considered "bisexual," capable of interest in both men and women.  And these are the persons who often find that marriage is both satisfying and useful to them.

Typical is the case of the wife of the prominent Negro businessman in the South. She is known among her associates as a lesbian and often flaunts her beliefs openly in her crowd.  But to all appearances she maintains a happy home with her husband, despite her occasional lapses on her own side of hte sex line.

Although there are believed to be fewer lesbians than homosexual men, doctors who have studied female deviates say it is far easier for this group to marry than for male perverts to do so.  The woman's sexual role demands merely that she is compliant, but a man has to be capable of being aroused if he is to play his part.  Some lesbians have succeeded in hiding their perverted tendencies from men until they have married them - and sometimes for even longer.  Many become "good" wives, both in their husband's opinion and the public's.  Behind their determination is an appreciation for the "ad-

Psychiatrists Help Some Make Adjustments
vantages" which the New York doctor mentioned in his lecture: the personal companionship, security and protection from social hostility which they cannot find in any other relationship.

Frequently, lesbians seek psychiatric help to enable them to adjust to marriage.  Although there may always be some degree of bisexuality in their make-up, psychiatrists declare that it is possible in many areas to free the heterosexual elements in their characters and equip them to assume their normal role in life.  this is especially true of a woman to whom lesbianism is but a search for some new thrill.  These women often find deviation not as exciting as imagined nd return to normal sex relations.  Such a case is the wife of a Negro boxer, whose own philandering adventures drover her to thrill-seeking.  But she was caught with her female companion when her husband's suspicions were aroused.

Surprisingly, few lesbians wan to marry homosexual husbands, because by doing so they would destroy the very goal which they strive toward in marriage.  Such a union would offer them no "front," and little chance to acquire the self-confidence they desire.  Although the idea of bearing children is frightening to the majority of lesbians, there are some who try to adopt youngsters and are quite willing to rear them and love them in a throughly normal and maternal way.

Other lesbians enter marriage with the groundless hope that in it they will find escape from their aberration.  Counselors observe that these marriages rarely last, because when the lesbian discovers her mistake, her hostility towards her husband increases to the point where marriage is impossible.  There are cases on record in which lesbians have deserted their husbands, taken their children and moved back into their former girl friend's homes, there to live in apparent happiness ever after. 

Several cases have reached the courts in which husbands with lesbian wives sued women who "stole" their wives' affections.  Most recent case involved a Negro husband, who lived happily with his wife for 40 years and then lost her to another woman.  He filed a "love balm" suit.

Most deviants try hard to make a success of marriage, however, because they find it to be a bugger against loneliness and an assurance that at least one person can be depended upon to offer them companionship day after day and year after year.  not all of these women give up their lives of promiscuity, although some do.  Those who continue in it generally live in two worlds, one normal and one abnormal, with the silent prayer that never shall the twain meet.  Even though their adjustment to marriage may never be complete, it is an anchor and a bulwark, an institution which has its rewards for those masculine women who can assume its responsibilities.

Next Week in JET:

Why Musicians Choose White Wives
Ever since the roaring 20's when Negro jazz and its birth int he entertainment world, Negro musicians have continually found that their music has often led to romance.  In recent years, many top-flight Negro jazzmen have crossed the color line in increasing numbers to marry white brides.  Just why they do is told in a frank article in next week's JET.

The Seven Negro Wonders of the World
From ancient times to the present, people have marveled at the world's unique creations, both man-made and natural.  As "wonders" of civilization, however, few of them hnaev ever been identified with the Negro genius that went into their making.  JET, next week, in an illustrated feature, spotlights seven of these "wonders" attributed to Negroes and tells the little known story behind their creations.

[Infographic] Keys to Branding Your Small Business

Source: http://www.businessinsider.com/infographic-keys-to-branding-your-small-business-2012-9

Why Your Brand Isn't Trusted

Part of every branding strategy includes establishing and re-enforcing brand essence. Brand essence is a simple one to three word phrase that describes a consumer's emotional connection and lasting impression, or feel, of your brand. It is truly the heart and soul of your brand. A few examples that come to mind are:

Volvo has a brand essence of safety.
Disneyworld has a brand essence of magical family fun
Harley Davidson has a brand essence of non-conformity

By and large, business owners new to the concept of branding and brand essence immediately exclaim that their company's brand essence is "trusted". Every business owner believes their customers trust in their expertise, they trust in the product and that's what they're rooting their brand in.

There's just one problem with that:

Have you ever heard that Chris Rock joke about men who are proud of things they're SUPPOSED to be doing anyway? He says he doesn't understand men who say "I take care of my kids!" "You're SUPPOSED to take care of your kids!", Chris says.

The same is true with "trust".

Your brand essence isn't "trusted" - Customers are SUPPOSED to trust you.

When I go to a new restaurant and place an order, I TRUST that the waitress will actually bring me my food, I TRUST that the food will be decent, I TRUST that the restaurant will be clean, I TRUST that I will get the food that I ordered.

When I go to the cleaners, I TRUST that my clothes will get cleaned, I TRUST that they'll be ready when I'm told they're ready, I TRUST that I'll get the same clothes out that I put in.

If those things do not happen or they don't happen more than once, I'll take my business elsewhere and all businesses know that so every business owner will provide the basic elements of service that keep a customer happy, that's not inspiring TRUST, that's called running a business.

While accurate and consistent service is certainly part of your brand strategy, it is not your brand essence. The reality is, your customers TRUST your competition too.

So, what is your brand essence? What is the visceral response your customers  have to your product or service? Do they get the warm and fuzzies when they see your product? Do they think your product will improve their quality of life? Are they convinced your product has a quality no other product has? Dig deep to find out how your customers are connecting with your product and if you're not sure what your brand essence is, ASK your customers how they are connecting with your product and build from there.

Do you already know what your brand essence is? If so, share it in the comments section! I love comments. :)

Is Your Company's Brand Architecture Built on a Solid Foundation?

As your company evolves you may develop new products, find that your original product does not fare well in specific markets and re-brand it or acquire a product or company and need to merge or dissolve one of the names. In each case, you will need to decide how that new product will be named and do so in a way that does not affect the brand equity you've worked so hard to build.

Brand Architecture is the organizational structure companies use in the implementation products. It is a means for consumers, stockholders and employees to understand the relationship of each new product to the overall company (even though the parent company may not be closely associated with the product at all).

In a nutshell, brand architecture describes how your company's brands relate to one another.


The three types of brand architecture include:

Parent or umbrella (also known as monolithic) brands such as Nabisco, Proctor & Gamble or Apple - stand-alone brands with their own reputations and consumer loyalty. They can be used in conjunction with sub-brands or endorsed brands

Sub-brands or endorsed brands are "endorsed" by a parent brand but have their own identity. Consider Nabisco's products. Nabisco is prominently displayed on all of its cookie and cracker products giving assurances to the consumer that the product will be fresh yet the product names Oreo, Chips Ahoy, Triscuit, Snackwell, etc have their own distinct identities.

Individual product brands are stand-alone brands where the parent brand is given little to no prominence. Consider Unilever's Dove products as an example.

So, what does that all mean?

When creating new products, your company will need to decide the pros and cons of implementing any of the aforementioned brand architectures or your product -  regardless of quality - could suffer. Avoid such flops like Harley-Davidson's mistake of endorsing a wine cooler! There's nothing wrong with Harley Davidson opting to create or acquire a wine cooler; however had Harley Davidson re-evaluated its brand strategy and considered its core demographics, it would have perhaps opted to create the wine cooler as an individual product with its own unique name giving the Harley Davidson name no prominence (instead of slapping it right on the packaging).

What factors should a company consider when deciding which type of brand architecture to use?

In some cases, a company may decide its parent name should be used unilaterally regardless of the product - consider Virgin Airlines, Virgin Mobile, Virgin Trains, Virgin Megastore, etc. In most cases, Virgin acquires  companies and the Virgin name is added alerting consumers that this company will be as innovative and forward thinking as the products Virgin created from scratch. The downside of this approach is diluting the parent company brand name especially if all the new products are in the same market. Consider Special K which adds its name to cereals, protein bars, water and other food products.

As companies evolve and branch off into different markets, it may decide to use a sub-brand as in the case of Apple which later created the MacIntosh brand and later the i-series - iPhone, iTunes, iPad and iPod - in an effort to distance these products from the original computer technology yet still align them with the reputation of innovation. Each brand has its own unique personality yet consumers are always aware that the parent company, Apple/Mac, is the driving force behind the brand and the same brand insistence consumers have for Apple, Inc extends to the i-series yet at the same time, consumers concerned with any perceived complexities of using a Mac computer are still apt to by an i-series product because as a separate brand it is free to build its own identity as "easy to use".

The downside to creating sub-brands is the cost of using company resources to cultivate and market a new product. Each sub-brand needs its own team that a smaller company may not be able to afford.

Individual brands like Unilver's Dove may be a good fit for a company creating a product outside of what it creates for its core demographic. Consider Harley Davidson's white wine coolers. Forget that the Wall Streeter next door owns a Harley and think only of the brand image of the company - blue collar, rough, rugged and rebellious - not a target audience for white wine coolers! Beer maybe but definitely not a white wine cooler. The downside to creating an individual, stand-alone brand, however, is that without the parent brand reputation, your marketing division is forced to create a brand identity from scratch, unable to use the brand equity you've built up over time. In some cases, it's worth it if the brand equity could be negatively affected by the new product's brand image not aligning with the parent brand.

Elevating Your Brand in One Easy Step

Whether service or product-oriented, brands continuously search for the magic formula to elevate themselves from brand awareness to brand insistence. Oftentimes, companies align themselves with celebrities or the newest pop culture craze hoping consumers will raise an approving eyebrow in their direction but in fact, studies continue to show that celebrities tend to have little impact on whether a consumer buys a product. Let's face it, few people honestly believe anyone in a celebrity's tax bracket actually buys the same products and services they do.

Companies that don't hire celebrities sometimes go for "bells and whistles" - adding features and aesthetic accoutrements that may not affect the overall functionality of the product but it at least looks pretty or is "green" or now comes in neon.

What too many companies fail to understand is that what ultimately makes a brand a "must have" is oftentimes not the product itself but rather the experience tied to the product.

With social media as a mainstay in today's society and with it review sites and the immediacy of word of mouth, it is imperative that consumers have a dynamic and positive interaction with brands and those interactions need to be more than transactional they need to be transformational. Consumers want companies to do more than sell a product, they want to know that the product was sold to them after identifying their specific needs and after being sold the product, consumers want remarkable customer service and unexpected follow-up - a call to make sure the product is to their liking, a hand-written note saying Thank You, etc. It is the experience that reinforces a brand in the minds of today's consumer and it is the experience that will prompt them to purchase the product again.

To elevate your brand, don't sell the product, provide an experience.

A few companies have elevated their brand by providing an experience via social media. Consider Dell Computers, on its site it states:  

"Dell uses Twitter to quickly share information with people interested in our products and services, gather real-time feedback and build relationships with customers, partners and other influential people."

Dell's centralized @DellCares account was launched in 2010 after a PR nightmare with an unhappy influential Twitter user. Using engagement and resolution, Dell used its customer service team to publicly address customer issues and solicit feedback and within a year was able to interact with over 10,000 Dell customers, saw a significant decline in negative feedback and converted 35% of its detractors to promoters of Dell products.


Some companies will continue to opt for bells and whistles and the new hot celebrity to promote their product but companies who stay connected with their customer base soliciting feedback and giving them more than they expect will continue to see their relational capital skyrocket.

When All You Want To Do Is Eat...

I used to wonder about those people on the news who would go on sprees of some sort. Those people who experienced some sort of circumstances and stress that landed them heavily armed in a post office creating what would be testimony for their defense later.

In these past three weeks I'd have to say I no longer wonder about those people, I kinda get it. I have had health issues, a car impound of my perfectly legal car that took me on an adventure the likes of which hasn't been seen since The Hang Over and just now I found out my cat has, of all things, breast cancer.

60 pounds ago I would have taken myself somewhere and soothed myself in cheesy high-carb goodness and washed it down with a Pepsi all the while telling myself it was okay because I'm "going through some thangs". Today, I can't do that. As I've learned, if you have a problem and you try to eat it away then you'll end up with two problems - the one you started with and your issue with your weight.

So, what's a girl to do? The one thing she doesn't want to - feel it. I'm feeling the frustration of my legal car being impounded and having to pay 350 completely unnecessary dollars to get it out, I'm feeling the frenzy of planning Dinah Shore, I'm feeling the sadness of spending what could be my final days with my cat and I'm feeling the surprise of the potentially $1100 vet bill. I'm also feeling the guilt around my godmother's recent death because I hadn't spoken to her in ages, the uncertainty of a new business venture and so much more.

What I can't do is try to reduce my hurt and anxieties with enchiladas and pizza. That's a temporary fix with long-term effects and I'll feel bad about it later anyway.

It took a lot of years to re-condition myself not to eat my anxiety away and I'm not going to say the impulse isn't still there but I have to change my coping mechanisms and go hike it out instead. We've all learned from many a celebrity death and celebrity burn-out that the ways we choose to numb the pain can prove detrimental. We can't be so afraid of feeling that we damage ourselves even more, that's counter-intuitive.

Allow yourself to feel, to worry, to grieve, to pace and to lick your wounds. I once read that the wound is the space that the Light enters.

The 7 Stages of Grief & Whitney Houston's Death

Where were you when you heard the news? I was in Palm Springs at Mango restaurant, the venue I'll be using for my Saturday night Dinah Shore event flushing out some really minor details. I was at the bar, drinking a surprisingly delightful (and delightfully complimentary) chipotle pineapple mojito the Mango bartender whipped up for me. I was chatting with Palm Springs icon, Gail of Lucy & Gail about...who knows what when my travel companion exclaimed, "Did you see this?" while flashing me the front page of TMZ.com announcing Houston's death.

The 7 stages of grief had begun:

SHOCK / DISBELIEF: I had JUST spoken of Whitney an hour or two earlier. A song of hers came on and I asked: "Do you think Whitney will ever sing like that again??" How disconcerting to have someone who was just a part of your thoughts announced dead shortly and how shocking to have someone who had soundtracked my life since well before I'd left my small town of Sumter, SC pass away.

DENIAL: Even though I know TMZcom has been a trusted source for celebrity news for quite some time, Whitney Houston - this living legend - could not be gone. It's not right, it's not okay and if I and anyone else who had continued to be stunned into silence by her voice refused to believe it then it could go down as just another ugly internet rumor. Just don't believe it, put "I Will Always Love You" on repeat and this will all be over, right?

ANGER: When I did accept that it was true, my shocked, furrowed eyebrows turned downward and I realized I was angry. How dare she? Why couldn't she get it together? What made her turn to drugs? Didn't she know better? Didn't she know her footprint on the world of music, on the world as a whole? How could she destroy her God-given talent and spiral out of control? Selfish questions all, I don't deny that but every one of them ran through my mind. I didn't know if drugs played a role in her death but I still harbored anger and resentment for the part they had played in her life.



BARGAINING: From anger comes the thought that if we turn back the clock and took back every "Crack is wack" joke, every Bobby & Whitney comedy skit, gave her a cool moniker like The Queen of R&B or some other show of appreciation this never could be true. I don't buy music, I haven't purchased a CD or a Itune in ages but I thought, I'll go run out and buy all her albums just let this be an error on someone's part.

GUILT: I never bought her albums, never went to a Whitney concert, I just sat back, quietly in awe of her presence, it's my fault she didn't feel appreciated. I didn't watch the Bobby & Whitney show. Did I laugh at the Whitney's on drugs jokes? I was a bad fan, a very bad fan indeed. In response to the question "Do you think she'll ever sing again" under Shock/Disbelief, my travel companion replied "Nah" - how bad do we feel for not only being right but not having enough faith that she'd ever be able to get it together?

DEPRESSION: Depression is a little melodramatic, I'd go with "somber". I felt somber because I ache for Whitney. I ache because she couldn't have known the gift she was to the world - not just a musical gift - but she was a gift to the world by just being. Whitney's every gesture, every note, every step was a joy to watch. Even when she wasn't coherent, she was her own woman, she commanded attention, she was everything and now that everything is gone - a void has been created.

ACCEPTANCE & HOPE: It hasn't even been 48 hours yet so acceptance hasn't come yet but I do accept that we can't know what Whitney went through in her final days. I have high-profile friends and the one thing I know is that they are surprisingly "regular" people with their own set of problems not too different from our own. Unless they're working a circuit, adoring fans are youtube and twitter numbers, the one on one adoration is few and far between sometimes and what they're left with are their own flaws, their own fears and their own demons. Perhaps Houston's death will inspire someone - to sing, to get help, to pursue a dream - that is my hope.

Goodbye, Whitney, know that you were and will continue to be loved. No one can or will ever replace you. You will remain in our hearts forever.